OPINION: Janay Rice Speaks, Ray Rice wins appeal to return to NFL, denial sets in over family
buzzz worthy. . .
By Mona Austin
Janay Rice has finally spoken at length about the elevator incident that left her unconscious and caused her husband Ray Rice to be cut from the Baltimore Ravens. The first interview went to ESPN, published only hours after news of the suspecned appel broke. the Dayas later she spoke to Matt Lauer in an exclusiveinterveiw.
From the start, the thought of leaving her husband did not enter her mind, Mrs.Rice told ESPN, saying she knew their relationship would not end because she "knew [this] was not us," in reference to her state of mind immediately following the fight.
SOme reports say alshohol was invlied and that may have exascebated circumstance.
Said Mrs. Rice, "As we were arguing, he was on his phone and not looking at me. I went to reach for his phone, and when he grabbed it back, he spit at me and I slapped him."
Janay Rice insists that she is not a victim, a common form of denial in battered women. Like the sinner who ried lord forgive me once theor transgressio ins exposed, she is victim and might have been for a while, the only differnce is we now all know about it. Ray Rice was not present during that interview, but less than a week later Rice, his wife, mother -in-law andfather-in-lawall appeared in an exclusive wit the Tday Show's Matt Lauer. IT was uncofmrotabe to watch.
https://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11913473/janay-rice-gives-own-account-night-atlantic-cityWe saw the impact of domestic violence on families from the time we spent last year at House of Ruth, a domestic violence center in Baltimore, serving holiday meals to women and their families.
Thinking back about the children there, made me think about what I am going to say to my own daughter about this. We'll tell her when we feel the time is right, and when she'll be able to understand it. I don't know exactly what I'll say, but we'll be honest with her. I will obviously tell her that it was wrong, and it's not something that you allow and to respect herself foremost, just like I was told as a child. But I'll also tell her that people make mistakes and you have to learn from them.
I still find it hard to accept being called a "victim." I know there are so many different opinions out there about me -- that I'm weak, that I'm making excuses and covering up abuse -- and that some people question my motives for staying with Ray.
However, I'm a strong woman and I come from a strong family. Never in my life have I seen abuse, nor have I seen any woman in my family physically abused. I have always been taught to respect myself and to never allow myself to be disrespected, especially by a man. Growing up, my father used to always tell my sister and I, "We don't need a man to make us, if anything it's the man who needs us."
Continues Mrs. Rice, "No matter how long we have known each other and no matter what the circumstance is, Ray understands that violent behavior like this, even one time, is never acceptable. Ray told the truth and has fully accepted responsibility for his actions, which allowed us to work together at improving ourselves and get to the better place we are today."
After winning an appeal, Ray Rice has been reinstated into the NFL as a free agent. Their decision to remain together as a couple is theirs to make, but the fact that the incident was a clear act of domestic violence should not be diminished by news of his possible return to the NFL. The Rice's may have won the right to return to the field, but there are no winners in cases of domestic abuse.
By Mona Austin
A victim by any other name is still a victim.
Janay Rice has finally spoken at length about the elevator incident that left her unconscious and caused her husband Ray Rice to be cut from the Baltimore Ravens. The first interview went to ESPN, published only hours after news of the suspecned appel broke. the Dayas later she spoke to Matt Lauer in an exclusiveinterveiw.
From the start, the thought of leaving her husband did not enter her mind, Mrs.Rice told ESPN, saying she knew their relationship would not end because she "knew [this] was not us," in reference to her state of mind immediately following the fight.
SOme reports say alshohol was invlied and that may have exascebated circumstance.
Said Mrs. Rice, "As we were arguing, he was on his phone and not looking at me. I went to reach for his phone, and when he grabbed it back, he spit at me and I slapped him."
Janay Rice insists that she is not a victim, a common form of denial in battered women. Like the sinner who ried lord forgive me once theor transgressio ins exposed, she is victim and might have been for a while, the only differnce is we now all know about it. Ray Rice was not present during that interview, but less than a week later Rice, his wife, mother -in-law andfather-in-lawall appeared in an exclusive wit the Tday Show's Matt Lauer. IT was uncofmrotabe to watch.
https://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/11913473/janay-rice-gives-own-account-night-atlantic-cityWe saw the impact of domestic violence on families from the time we spent last year at House of Ruth, a domestic violence center in Baltimore, serving holiday meals to women and their families.
Thinking back about the children there, made me think about what I am going to say to my own daughter about this. We'll tell her when we feel the time is right, and when she'll be able to understand it. I don't know exactly what I'll say, but we'll be honest with her. I will obviously tell her that it was wrong, and it's not something that you allow and to respect herself foremost, just like I was told as a child. But I'll also tell her that people make mistakes and you have to learn from them.
I still find it hard to accept being called a "victim." I know there are so many different opinions out there about me -- that I'm weak, that I'm making excuses and covering up abuse -- and that some people question my motives for staying with Ray.
However, I'm a strong woman and I come from a strong family. Never in my life have I seen abuse, nor have I seen any woman in my family physically abused. I have always been taught to respect myself and to never allow myself to be disrespected, especially by a man. Growing up, my father used to always tell my sister and I, "We don't need a man to make us, if anything it's the man who needs us."
Continues Mrs. Rice, "No matter how long we have known each other and no matter what the circumstance is, Ray understands that violent behavior like this, even one time, is never acceptable. Ray told the truth and has fully accepted responsibility for his actions, which allowed us to work together at improving ourselves and get to the better place we are today."
After winning an appeal, Ray Rice has been reinstated into the NFL as a free agent. Their decision to remain together as a couple is theirs to make, but the fact that the incident was a clear act of domestic violence should not be diminished by news of his possible return to the NFL. The Rice's may have won the right to return to the field, but there are no winners in cases of domestic abuse.
