Taking back stolen pieces: A woman’s guide to reclaiming strength and value when dreams are deferred

buzzz worthy. . .

MENTAL HEALTH

The issues that you are finding hard  face are not yours to face alone. God is there to guide you through life's storms. All He wants you to do is call Him and follow his loving instructions.  This requires you are not only praying, but also listening to His voice.

By Mona Austin

If I looked like what I’ve been through in 2013 it would not be a pretty picture.

Over the last several years I’ve been pregnant with possibilities that have lain dormant in the womb of my mind. But the delivery date was delayed as every aspect of my personal life was wrought with challenges untold. I believed the desires and visions that were not materializing in my life were implanted into me before the founding of the Earth's firmament, so I was confused when  obstacles were  constant and no matter how hard I tried, I could not circumvent them.

I took personal stock of the status of my life.  By mid 2013, I’d severed toxic relationships

Cut, cut, cut. One after the other negative relationships were over. From family members to so called friends and business associates, I released people who were not genuinely there for me.   I was done with being disrespected by people whose original sticker price was less than my trade in value. 

The more I analyzed the heck out of my business plans, spent more quality time with my husband and children,  under promised and over delivered to clients while laying prostrate before the Lord boldly petitioning Him for intervention, the  worse matters got. Money was trickling in, my children were fighting non-stop and my husband had lost his job.

Even now I want to regurgitate some of my negative experiences to get them out, but what's the point of purging with no real plan to clean up the mess? I'll spare the details, but it was bad.

At one point I hid in my prayer closet and asked God if he could give me weekends off from all of the madness that befell me.  And at the time, the hardest part was that I had absolutely no one with whom to walk out my woes; people I thought were there for me were ghosts when I needed them the most. I'd grown accustomed to walking alone and letting God carry me.  

One time I thought I’d be hopeful and  I signed up for  crowd funding to raise money to sponsor emerging women entrepreneurs to participate in Sisterhood Confidential, the women's empowerment program I started and did not get a penny from anyone on or  off Facebook. Nothing.  I was so embarrassed an could not understand why I didn't get any support when I have given so much for so long.

With the mountain of challenges I was facing, I felt robbed as a card carrying Christian.

The issues were building up to an inevitable eruption, but something within me refused to fall apart.

Emotionally traumatized, my entire being had been shaken by the time I decided to go get my life back!

GETTING HEALED FROM ANYTHING STARTS WITH UNCOVERING THE ROOT CAUSE OF THE AILMENT. 

In order to do repossess the strength needed to overcome a setback or emotional breakdown, you must follow a process.

During this intensely stressful period I went in and escape from emotional confinement I began to put that creepy twilight zone space mentally known as depression and started to question everything.  Did I mishear God? Why do I exist if I cannot contribute my passions to society or exercise my purpose?  Did I choose the wrong field?  Why am I being rejected?  Was I doing or saying something that caused people at school and church to attack me with dagger-like stares and sometimes stab me with their words, unabated?  What am I to gain from so much pain? Questions about who I was swarmed like bees around the hive of my mind.

The latter question was crucial to the turning point in this season of my life.
With clarity from these questions I began to work on the  aspects of my life that were essential to coping, regaining confidence and eventually being satisfied with myself.  This epiphany was all I needed to begin healing  I realized Men steal matter.  The enemy of your soul steals meaning,  drive, your voice,  ambition, confidence, love, your will, value, your ability to feel, and peace -- if you let him.

Has your life been in a holding pattern too?  If it has, don't blame yourself. You may have done nothing wrong. Sometimes God shakes things up in our midst to keep us still long enough to get our attention so we can realize a relationship with Him is the source of everything we need.

For a while I suffered  thinking that what does not kill me will make me stronger and that brokenness was necessary carrier for the type of success I'm destined to birth. Hard times are preparation for a bigger better assignment I thought.

The still, small voice within told me, "go back  to where you first believed."  As I listened I came up with four lessons to focus on:

- Still away.  Solitude is a gift.  Use it.  

- Swim in a familiar waters. This is a way to set realistic expectations and guard your heart.

- Go where the love is.  Spending time in places and spaces were there is negative energy toward your is unhealthy.

- Understand that deferred does not mean denied.  Spend time improving on where you are today without taking your eyes off the goal.  In due time it will come to pass if you don't let go. 

Adapting to this plan will enable you to focus on what is important and to press on toward the high calling in Christ Jesus.  The blessing is in the pressing.