By Mona Austin
There are times in work relationships that we must assert our value. In particular it may be necessary to speak up about your capabilities when a peer or co-worker decides to dissect your performance in a manner that you find demeaning or questionable.
First of all, we should always be humble enough to be open to critiques or suggestions whether solicited or unsolicited. However, you must know the difference between THE STANDARD and THEIR STANDARD and THEIR MOTIVE -- IS IT PURELY TO HELP YOU IMPROVE OR SELF SERVING? IS IT SIMPLY THE WAY THEY WANT THINGS DONE TO BE CONSISTENT WITH THE EXPECTATIONS OF THE ORGANIZATION?
In the context of business or professional standards, are you willing to assimilate or deviate from a norm to satisfy someone else's preferences? I always practice the philosophy "bend but not to the point where you break." Everyone likes to work with people who offer flexibility and a pleasant attitude. But it is unrealistic to expect an employee to be a mental contortionist. There is nothing necessarily wrong with conforming to an organization's rules of engagement. Yet, if you are asked to make changes to the way you are doing your work, the answer should be no if the suggestions cause you to compromise your VALUE as a professional. Also consider that doing it their way could give the impression that your skills are lacking. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCOMMODATE EVERY REQUEST OR COOPERATE WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS PRESENTED TO YOU. Stand on the principle that the standard in any given field is the gauge by which your depth of knowledge is measured. This statement will ALWAYS be true: Knowledge alone is not power, the PROPER use of it is.
The classic childhood story of "Petunia" which I will provide here in summary best illustrates my point:
Petunia was a goose who lived on a farm. One day she saw a man with a book for the first time. He dropped the book and she picked it up. She had no idea what a book was but started to carry it everywhere she went because she thought it would make her wise . The other farm animals started to take notice that Petunia had some thing they did not have and began to ask her advice for their problems. Her barn friends who took her advice had all kinds of negative consequences as they followed her silly, unwise suggestions. Petunia and her friends had no STANDARDS and the results were costly.
Below are 6 reasons when it is necessary to say "no" to the Petunia's of the business world:
1. In the example of Petunia it is obvious that having a book alone did not make her an expert. Do not be so quick to take advice if the person sharing it has not proven themselves.
2. You are an unpaid volunteer. Bring your best effort even if you are not being paid, but limit your time, ensuring that the other party recognizes your limits. You never know who is watching, so make EXCELLENCE your personal standard.
3. You have a proven track record of success outside of the environment in question. Especially if you have a personal brand, product, service, company or idea that you already represent, which means you have a reputation to maintain, be cautious that others are not attempting to redefine you!
4. You are a greater talent than the person giving the advice.
5. You sense you are being used and the other party does not want you in the spotlight.
6. You never receive respect or appreciation.
You owe it to yourself to exude confidence in your value. Always remember, when protecting your mental assets, be just as careful not to burn a bridge as you are about not getting burned. Any organization that is worth your time will embrace your desire to keep excellence as a standard.